Dining Hall Trial And Tribulations
by GothicDJ
Summary: A wierd little AU that I did. It's just a hour fic about a strange occurence going on in a college dining hall concerning our favorite FFVII cast.


AU ALERT! The timeline is a little weird. They didn't  
fight Sephiroth, but they all still have their  
fighting skills. And Cid still pilots the Highwind.  
Don't kill me if it's a weird timeline, I was bored as  
hell. And as for the pairings... Implied Cloud-Yuffie  
and implied Cloud-Tifa. Although, you'll see as you  
read that it means nothing.  
  
  
**Dining Hall Trials and Tribulations**  
Written by, GothicDJ Inspired by, Adriana's little  
brother  
  


I'd like to thank my beta-reader, Miss. Kalloway, for making sure this 

isn't crap! Thank you! :-D  
  
  
She sat uncomfortably in her seat at the table. She  
hated where she sat. Every night, she would sit in the  
chair closest to the door, and he would sit right  
across from her, leering at her the entire meal. Ok,  
so she knew he had something for her, but instead of  
being creepy about it, he should just go right out and  
say something. They were in college for Shinagami's  
sake; he shouldn't be so childish about it. But there  
she was, faced with another meal with him sitting right  
across from her as usual.   
  
"How's it going, Yuffie, having a good meal?"  
He grinned, knowing he was getting on her last nerve.  
Yuffie slowly curled her right hand into a fist, ready  
to punch a hole through his empty skull. At least there  
wouldn't be much to damage. He grinned even more and she  
felt something begin to creep up her leg. Shuddering,  
she glared at him, taking her plastic spork in her hand  
and wielding it like a weapon. His lecherous grin grew  
even more and she felt the spork break under the  
pressure of her fist. Suddenly, her training shuriken  
sounded like a lot more fun that that damn plastic  
spork But, restraining herself, she decided not to  
have an outburst during the dinner hour. And she had  
finally snagged a box of Lucky Charms too.   
  
"What are you doing?" she asked, strangely calm for the  
situation. If possible, his grin would have grown  
more, enough to split his face in two. She felt that  
'something' move up her leg a little farther, and began  
to move her other leg to smash that 'something'.  
  
"Is that you?" She interrogated, wanting to know what  
that was. It could be Nanaki, but then again, wasn't  
that his tail on the other side of the room talking to  
Elena. Ok, ruled that out. Maybe it was Cid's head, but  
that would be dead wrong, and she would have to kill  
the Highwind pilot, even if that meant that they would have to  
hoof it wherever they would go, from Junon to the Gold  
Saucer. But there he was, cussing loudly on the other  
side of the room with his Highwind trainees.   
  
"I can't help it, it's my third leg and it's moving  
on it's own." He grinned, knowing just what kind of  
response that he wanted. He wanted her to have a fit in  
the dining room and storm out in a huff. A very Yuffie-like thing to do. 

Maybe then he could snatch a few of  
her marshmallows in her dinner cereal. The response he  
got was very different.  
  
"CLOUD STRIFE YOU SICK PERVERTED BASTARD! YOU  
HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES, EVEN MORE THAN VINCENT, AND HE  
BLAMES HIMSELF FOR THEWORLD!" As his name was called  
out, Vincent looked up from his depressed table and  
Sephiroth turned around so abruptly, his coffee spilt  
all over Vincent's red leather cape (authentic).  
Vincent, in turn, took his synthetic hand (gotta love  
the claw) and smacked Sephiroth in the head. A chain  
reaction was that Sephiroth shoved Vincent backwards in  
his chair, making him crash into Yuffie's chair. That  
was the straw that broke the camel's back (Sorry to  
all GW Quatre fans). Yuffie took her tray, bowl of  
Lucky Charms and all, and smacked Vincent, Cloud, and  
Sephiroth all in the heads.  
  
 "YOU ALL ARE IMMATURE BRATS! DO YOU KNOW THAT?!?" And  
with that, Yuffie grabbed the nearest box of cereal she  
could see, Sephiroth's half-eaten box of Kix, and  
stormed out of the lunchroom in a flurry of  
ninja armor.  
  
Everything was silent.   
  
Nanaki's tail swished apprehensively and Elena  
swallowed the bite of her turkey sandwich she had taken  
prior to the shinobi's outburst. Cloud picked a heart  
shaped marshmallow out of his blond mane and popped it  
in his mouth.   
  
"It's magically delicious," he said, and that seemed  
to startle everyone out of their stupor. Vincent  
promptly stood up and gave everyone in the room the  
finger with his golden claw, before walking out  
the door the same way Yuffie had gone. Sephiroth looked  
vaguely sad about the loss of his dinner, and Elena and  
Nanaki resumed their conversation. The only  
person un-phased by the whole situation was Cid, who  
kept talking and cussing uproariously with his pilot  
trainees. He did manage to fit the phrase  
'she's fucking acting more like me each bloody fucking  
day' into his lecture, though. Cloud was too busy  
trying to pick clean marshmallows out of his hair and  
off the table to eat for his dinner.  
  
Just when all had settled back to some  
strange sense of normality, Tifa stormed into  
the cafeteria looking like hell itself. Several random  
students suddenly decided that running as far as  
humanly possibly would be a lot more fun, and a  
lot safer, than sticking around. Tifa was known around  
the school as the most skilled hand-to-hand combat  
fighter. They were gone before she had made her  
way into the middle of the cafeteria.   
  
Calmly walking over to Cloud's seat, she  
loomed over him like a dark shadow for a brief moment,  
before putting on the most sugary candy-coated voice  
she could muster.  
  
"I ran into Yuffie on the way here," she said, a  
small homicidal glint in her eye. It was also well  
known that she and Cloud had been going out on and off  
since their freshmen year there.  
  
  
  
Cloud merely nodded and popped a rainbow marshmallow in  
his mouth. He obviously did not detect the danger  
that his immediate being was in. A small stress mark  
crept its way up to Tifa's forehead.  
  
  
  
"It seems you've been being an asshole," she said  
once again, the homicidal tone creeping its way into  
her voice. This snapped Cloud into reality and his  
train of thought finally boarded into the station.  
  
*Yuffie's anger x Tifa's anger (pain)=Major pain /  
rational thinking= run  
  
  
 Scrambling to get out of the chair, he was  
too late and Tifa grabbed him by the scruff of his neck  
and hauled him out of the cafeteria. The last  
thing you could hear from him was his solemn cry of 'I  
didn't mean to'. The only thing heard in the dining  
hall was the occasional scraping of chairs, and Cid  
speaking loudly.  
  
"There's just some fucking ass times when I fucking  
love this fucking school."  
  
  
  
~Owari~  
  
  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
Don't ask me where this came from. I was sitting at my  
friend Adriana's dinner table when she goes 'there's  
something going up my leg' and her little brother goes  
'it's my third leg, I can't control it' and then that  
proceeded to lead to some VERY interesting after dinner  
dirty jokes. Tis a crazy world we're living in. Well,  
I'll do anything with this fic but write a sequel. That  
would just kill the whole thing if I did that. Not  
meant to be anything, just a little hour fic as  
the result of some boredom and chilling at my friend's  
house. Major coolness.  
  
  
  
*I started writing this in the seventh grade. It is  
now the eighth grade that I'm finishing it. I started  
it at my friend's house and she lost it on her computer  
for a while. But now it's all done ^^ Oh, and as  
for that equation thing, that's kinda what we're doing  
in math, except a LOT harder since it's Algebra. Just  
thought I'd practice writing out equations, no  
matter how obscure.


End file.
